I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home
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- Create Date：2022-01-09 01:19:34
- Update Date：2025-09-07
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- Author：Jami Attenberg
- ISBN：0063039796
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Summary
From New York Times bestselling author Jami Attenberg comes a dazzling memoir about unlocking and embracing her creativity—and how it saved her life。
In this brilliant， fierce， and funny memoir of transformation， Jami Attenberg—described as a “master of modern fiction” （Entertainment Weekly） and the “poet laureate of difficult families” （Kirkus Reviews）—reveals the defining moments that pushed her to create a life， and voice， she could claim for herself。 What does it take to devote oneself to art？ What does it mean to own one’s ideas？ What does the world look like for a woman moving solo through it？
As the daughter of a traveling salesman in the Midwest， Attenberg was drawn to a life on the road。 Frustrated by quotidian jobs and hungry for inspiration and fresh experiences， her wanderlust led her across the country and eventually on travels around the globe。 Through it all she grapples with questions of mortality， otherworldliness， and what we leave behind。
It is during these adventures that she begins to reflect on the experiences of her youth—the trauma， the challenges， the risks she has taken。 Driving across America on self-funded book tours， sometimes crashing on couches when she was broke， she keeps writing: in researching articles for magazines， jotting down ideas for novels， and refining her craft， she grows as an artist and increasingly learns to trust her gut and， ultimately， herself。
Exploring themes of friendship， independence， class， and drive， I Came All This Way to Meet You is an inspiring story of finding one’s way home—emotionally， artistically， and physically—and an examination of art and individuality that will resonate with anyone determined to listen to their own creative calling。
In this brilliant， fierce， and funny memoir of transformation， Jami Attenberg—described as a “master of modern fiction” （Entertainment Weekly） and the “poet laureate of difficult families” （Kirkus Reviews）—reveals the defining moments that pushed her to create a life， and voice， she could claim for herself。 What does it take to devote oneself to art？ What does it mean to own one’s ideas？ What does the world look like for a woman moving solo through it？
As the daughter of a traveling salesman in the Midwest， Attenberg was drawn to a life on the road。 Frustrated by quotidian jobs and hungry for inspiration and fresh experiences， her wanderlust led her across the country and eventually on travels around the globe。 Through it all she grapples with questions of mortality， otherworldliness， and what we leave behind。
It is during these adventures that she begins to reflect on the experiences of her youth—the trauma， the challenges， the risks she has taken。 Driving across America on self-funded book tours， sometimes crashing on couches when she was broke， she keeps writing: in researching articles for magazines， jotting down ideas for novels， and refining her craft， she grows as an artist and increasingly learns to trust her gut and， ultimately， herself。
Exploring themes of friendship， independence， class， and drive， I Came All This Way to Meet You is an inspiring story of finding one’s way home—emotionally， artistically， and physically—and an examination of art and individuality that will resonate with anyone determined to listen to their own creative calling。
Reviews
Jessica Jeffers
，
For me， personally， Jami Attenberg's memoir does not share a particularly interesting or relatable story but it is phenomenally well-written。 For me， personally， Jami Attenberg's memoir does not share a particularly interesting or relatable story but it is phenomenally well-written。 。。。more
Joy Donley
，
This book started out promisingly with a hilarious story about the author's mother making her chicken noodle soup。 It made me laugh out loud。 But the rest of the book felt to me like a runner sprinting off at the top of a race and then slowing down， at times bursting with a bit of new energy， but then slowing down again into a trudge。 This is a memoir， but one of a person I really don't like very much。 The more I get to know her， the more I don't want to get to know her。 She bounces from being r This book started out promisingly with a hilarious story about the author's mother making her chicken noodle soup。 It made me laugh out loud。 But the rest of the book felt to me like a runner sprinting off at the top of a race and then slowing down， at times bursting with a bit of new energy， but then slowing down again into a trudge。 This is a memoir， but one of a person I really don't like very much。 The more I get to know her， the more I don't want to get to know her。 She bounces from being reckless and superficial， to then saying something profound。 "I don't regret any of it， except for how much money I spent on drugs。 And also， sometimes I was an asshole。 And for that: I'm sorry， I'm sorry， I'm sorry。"And then this: "I believe that one must arrive at an intersection of hunger and fear to make great art。 Hunger to succeed and create something brilliant and special and affecting。 Fear that your life will remain just as it is--or worse--forever。"It's the second quote， and others like it， that kept me reading the entire book。 。。。more
Elaine Hall
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3。5 stars
Meg Zkn
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this is a book by a writer for writers。 it’s about pounding the pavement and hustling and begging and dreaming。 it’s about feeling seen but also scared。 it’s about home， and what that means， and how we find it。 i’m a huge fan of jami attenberg， and I relished the chance to get a glimpse inside her world。 she is brave and bold and wonderful。
Jaclyn
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‘In fact， we receive so much from other writers when they show us how it’s done。 When they position a character’s heart directly on the page for us， when they’re inventive in form or structure， or emotionally true in a way that feels radical in its familiarity。 Or when their sentences are so crisp as to be nearly audible， like a piece of paper torn in two—all of this shows us how to do it ourselves， how it’s possible， but also it emboldens us， releases us from our fears about own own work。 An en ‘In fact， we receive so much from other writers when they show us how it’s done。 When they position a character’s heart directly on the page for us， when they’re inventive in form or structure， or emotionally true in a way that feels radical in its familiarity。 Or when their sentences are so crisp as to be nearly audible， like a piece of paper torn in two—all of this shows us how to do it ourselves， how it’s possible， but also it emboldens us， releases us from our fears about own own work。 An encouragement by example。 We learn from them， but also， they tell us we can。 Without even knowing it。 Enter here。 Start here。 Begin now。 This is why it’s always important to be reading。 This is why we must always chew on the words of others。 It’s nutrition。 Eat your dinner。’I’m an Attenberg fan but this memoir surprised me。 I’m in awe of her community building and all she does for the writing community。 There is no better cheerleader。 I’m not sure this memoir added much to her work for me。 I expected there to be more about the work itself。 It did though make me consider what it takes to choose to live a literary life in the US （even though advances and royalties are much higher than here）。 But it’s still a very tough life and she draws a line from her father’s career as a travelling salesman to her own as a writer on tour。 I’m so grateful to all writers who， despite it all， put those words on the page and make them beautiful。 。。。more
Traci Thomas
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Attenberg can write。 She is a professional writer， period。 I didn’t find her life particularly of note （in a way where you could say this memoir is about xy or z） or the idea of a memoir rooted in writing to be particularly of interest to me and YET the book held my attention in a real way。 That is a testament to Attenberg’s skill as a writer and sentence crafter。 Ultimately the book fizzled toward the end， but mostly the book holds。
James Beggarly
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Thanks to Netgalley and Ecco for the ebook。 The author gives you such an interesting glimpse into the life of the writer by giving you her life and anxieties about her life and not the breakdowns or eureka moments of the actual books she wrote （she refers to the third book as that， never giving you the title）。 But the everything else is so interesting。 Coming from a modest midwestern family， the author lives on the margins of life for so many years with no safety net except for the extraordinary Thanks to Netgalley and Ecco for the ebook。 The author gives you such an interesting glimpse into the life of the writer by giving you her life and anxieties about her life and not the breakdowns or eureka moments of the actual books she wrote （she refers to the third book as that， never giving you the title）。 But the everything else is so interesting。 Coming from a modest midwestern family， the author lives on the margins of life for so many years with no safety net except for the extraordinary friends she makes along the way。 She has such a need for movement。 When things get secure at a job she quits。 When she’s in a city too long， she moves。 You get the feeling that she’s going to be one of those people who was the most talented writer in her MFA class， but then never does much after that。 But then she sells a book and then another and on and on until she is a person who can actually make a living as a writer。 It’s lovely， after all these struggles， to see her successful and to find a home for herself in New Orleans。 。。。more
Sarah
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Somewhere between 4 - 4。5I can never resist an author memoir （think These Precious Days: Essays， The Dragons， the Giant， the Women: A Memoir， Stray and Recollections of My Nonexistence: A Memoir） and I'm pleased to say this one doesn't disappoint。 Having only experienced a couple of Attenberg's fiction offerings （The Middlesteins and All Grown Up） I can confirm this makes a very enjoyable read even if you're not overly familiar with her work。 Having recently turned 50 Jami Attenberg is at a stag Somewhere between 4 - 4。5I can never resist an author memoir （think These Precious Days: Essays， The Dragons， the Giant， the Women: A Memoir， Stray and Recollections of My Nonexistence: A Memoir） and I'm pleased to say this one doesn't disappoint。 Having only experienced a couple of Attenberg's fiction offerings （The Middlesteins and All Grown Up） I can confirm this makes a very enjoyable read even if you're not overly familiar with her work。 Having recently turned 50 Jami Attenberg is at a stage in her life and career where she is perfectly placed to reflect on her past experiences （I'm so done with reading memoirs by people my age。。。）， and I loved the fluid and slightly fragmentary nature of her recollections。 Attenberg tells the honest truth of the life of an author and I found it fascinating and refreshing。 Highly recommended！Thank you Netgalley and Serpent's Tail for the advance copy， which was provided in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Janilyn Kocher
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I had never heard of this author before I read her book。 She is around my age and I am very familiar with the area of the Midwest where she spent her childhood。 Her theme in this book is her roving lifestyle。 She has lived many different places and finds inspiration from her surroundings for her writings。 She has lived an unconventional lifestyle， but it seems to work for her。 Thanks to Ecco and NetGalley for the advance read。
TheBookstagramBabe
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I enjoyed this book。 This book really focused on failure and finding yourself for success later on。 There is so much pressure put on people to be successful out the gate。 I know I've felt this growing up my whole life。 We learn a lot about her younger years， her itch to travel and not stay put， and staying afloat by any means necessary。 I felt really akin to Attenberg being a jewish woman with a hard time staying put。 I wish things didn't jump around as much。 It didn't really affect the story， b I enjoyed this book。 This book really focused on failure and finding yourself for success later on。 There is so much pressure put on people to be successful out the gate。 I know I've felt this growing up my whole life。 We learn a lot about her younger years， her itch to travel and not stay put， and staying afloat by any means necessary。 I felt really akin to Attenberg being a jewish woman with a hard time staying put。 I wish things didn't jump around as much。 It didn't really affect the story， but sometimes I would personally forget where we were at in the story as in past or present。 Thanks Edelweiss for an ARC in return for an honest review。 。。。more
Susie Dumond
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As the daughter of a traveling salesman， Jami Attenberg was born to hit the road。 In this memoir， Attenberg discusses how her wanderings have impacted her writing and vice versa。 It’s a beautifully written， thought-provoking exploration of how one writer found her voice。 I also enjoyed Attenberg's contemplations on writing and her experiences in the publishing industry。 It definitely made me want to go back and reread some of her past books！Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in ex As the daughter of a traveling salesman， Jami Attenberg was born to hit the road。 In this memoir， Attenberg discusses how her wanderings have impacted her writing and vice versa。 It’s a beautifully written， thought-provoking exploration of how one writer found her voice。 I also enjoyed Attenberg's contemplations on writing and her experiences in the publishing industry。 It definitely made me want to go back and reread some of her past books！Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for my honest review。 。。。more
Natalka Burian
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Completely， perfectly unputdownable。
Elisa
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I have read most of Jami Attenberg's fiction and she has a deceptively easy style of writing， making stories fly by。 This memoir is similarly written， and allowed me glimpses into her life and process。 The reason this memoir stands out is that is dares to show us a woman who doesn't have everything figured out and is just as confused and creative and free in her 40s and 50s， in a way that is not allowed in most fiction。Truly an interesting read and I think a lot of aspiring creatives would find I have read most of Jami Attenberg's fiction and she has a deceptively easy style of writing， making stories fly by。 This memoir is similarly written， and allowed me glimpses into her life and process。 The reason this memoir stands out is that is dares to show us a woman who doesn't have everything figured out and is just as confused and creative and free in her 40s and 50s， in a way that is not allowed in most fiction。Truly an interesting read and I think a lot of aspiring creatives would find this honest portrait of a writer to be useful。Thanks to NetGalley， Serpent's Tail and Jami Attenberg for an ARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Kim McGee
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An entertaining and introspective memoir of journeys both creative and around the world。 Jami Attenberg spent a big portion of her adult life hopping from friend's couches and depending on the kindness of strangers during her self funded cross country book road trips。 Plenty of places yielded little book sales but gave her inspiration and then she expanded her travel overseas。 She draws from within and from the people she meets to find that golden path to true creativity and owning those things An entertaining and introspective memoir of journeys both creative and around the world。 Jami Attenberg spent a big portion of her adult life hopping from friend's couches and depending on the kindness of strangers during her self funded cross country book road trips。 Plenty of places yielded little book sales but gave her inspiration and then she expanded her travel overseas。 She draws from within and from the people she meets to find that golden path to true creativity and owning those things you produce。 Taking risks doesn't come naturally to those raised in the midwest but she threw caution to the wind and followed her dreams alone searching for the place she would call home or at least home for now。My thanks to the publisher for the advance copy。 。。。more
Oscreads
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The essays in this book are written beautifully by a WRITER （yes， in all caps。） Attenberg is a WRITER。 Stunning voice。 Funny。 Equally， provocative。 And truthful。 Attenberg’s pen is ferocious。 This is a masterclass。 Highly recommend getting a copy。
Laura Sackton
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I've only read one of Attenberg's novels， which I liked fine， although I can remember anything about it now and have never been inspired to pick up another one。 I'm honestly not especially inspired to pick one up now。 But I absolutely loved this memoir。 There's a lot in here about writing， but mostly it's about the grind， the long， winding， confusing work of growing into yourself。 Even the writing itself feels winding， full of long sentences that seem to go on and on， that give the book this rel I've only read one of Attenberg's novels， which I liked fine， although I can remember anything about it now and have never been inspired to pick up another one。 I'm honestly not especially inspired to pick one up now。 But I absolutely loved this memoir。 There's a lot in here about writing， but mostly it's about the grind， the long， winding， confusing work of growing into yourself。 Even the writing itself feels winding， full of long sentences that seem to go on and on， that give the book this relentless momentum。 Attenberg writes about being a young writer， about working hard， year after year after year， about moving from place to place， job to job， person to person， a kind of floating， untethered existence。 There is so much honesty in it。 I so appreciate her realness， not just about the writing life but about the ordinary work of living。One thing I especially appreciated was her writing about her life in her thirties and forties， and how messy a lot of it was。 We expect people to be messy in their twenties。 There's this idea that that's what your twenties are for—for exploring， figuring things out， trying things out， messing up。 The whole idea of "finding yourself" in your twenties sets up this weird expectation that you'll get older and have it all figured。 And while I certainly wouldn't go back to my twenties for anything， and certainly feel a bit more grounded than I did then， it's not as if I have arrived somewhere final。 So much of this book is about that—Attenberg writes about calming down， for sure， but it's not like she suddenly gets wise and arrives in the life she'd always dreamed of。 She gets wiser bit by bit， slowly， over decades， but she keeps struggling and learning and recalibrating and discovering new truths about herself and the world。This book made me think so much about what writers can offer the world。 It doesn't really matter whether I like Attenberg's fiction or not。 I don't need to appreciate her fiction to appreciate her experience as a writer， and especially as a woman writer， in the world。 There's a warmth to this book， as well as an unrelenting hardness。 I found myself nodding along。 I sometimes caught my breath。 I loved what she has to say about friendship， about being a single woman， about the differences between loneliness and being along， the places they blur and they places they separate。 I love what she has to say about making art， which sometimes reflects my own experience of writing and sometimes does not。 That is all to say， this book felt like the way I was meant to access Attenberg's work， and I appreciate the gift of it immensely。 。。。more
Trish Reid
，
Everyone knows that the creative life isn't easy。 This is why our parents tell us to study computer science or business instead of art。 Most people would probably choose a useful， practical vocation over the demanding， intrusive call of artistic endeavor， but some people have no choice。 Those people， the ones with no choice， will recognize the drive， struggle and joy of Jami Attenberg's artistic life。 I definitely did。 With her Gen X attitude， love of travel and need for the "curative effect" of Everyone knows that the creative life isn't easy。 This is why our parents tell us to study computer science or business instead of art。 Most people would probably choose a useful， practical vocation over the demanding， intrusive call of artistic endeavor， but some people have no choice。 Those people， the ones with no choice， will recognize the drive， struggle and joy of Jami Attenberg's artistic life。 I definitely did。 With her Gen X attitude， love of travel and need for the "curative effect" of writing， she feels like a kindred spirit。 。。。more
Amy
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LOVED THIS！ It’s out in 2022 and I’ll write more then。 It was everything I want in a memoir: relatable， honest， interesting， complicated， revealing。 Jami Attenberg is one of my favorite authors and I appreciated learning more about her writing career and personal life。 She’s lived in so many cool places and done lots of traveling; basically she’s done all the things I thought I’d do by my age。 Thank you to @eccobooks for sending me a review copy。
Marian
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Jami Attenberg's memoir is more thematic than chronological。 And while my preference tends toward chronological memoirs， I understand the rationale behind her thematic approach， though， at times， the bouncing timelines did strike me as somewhat disjointed。 Dividing her book into 3 sections （1。 Take Off - The Long and Winding Runway， 2。 Brief and Dire Spasms of Turbulence， and 3。 A Landing， of a Kind）， Attenberg shares her experiences as well as her reflections on life knowing that writing has al Jami Attenberg's memoir is more thematic than chronological。 And while my preference tends toward chronological memoirs， I understand the rationale behind her thematic approach， though， at times， the bouncing timelines did strike me as somewhat disjointed。 Dividing her book into 3 sections （1。 Take Off - The Long and Winding Runway， 2。 Brief and Dire Spasms of Turbulence， and 3。 A Landing， of a Kind）， Attenberg shares her experiences as well as her reflections on life knowing that writing has always been her stabilizing force and the one part of her life where she feels most connected to who she is。 The analogy that life is a little bit like an airplane ride was not lost on me since Attenberg （the daughter of a traveling salesman） has spent most of her adult life on the road traveling to various book events。。 Her writing is honest and at times， raw， but entertaining。 An enjoyable read。I would like to thank #NetGalley and the publisher for providing #Icameallthiswaytomeetyou eARC。 。。。more
Michele
，
Reading Jami Attenberg's memoir， I kept thinking it was unlike any memoir I'd ever read。 Above all， it's a story of increasing dedication to the art of fiction， to an identity as a writer。 Everything else is subordinate to her work， and everything else except family and friendships is transitory， even the idea of home。 Many male artists have told a story like this， but Attenberg brings a womanist take to the "selfish artist" trope without relying on some cathartic event to create her identity。 I Reading Jami Attenberg's memoir， I kept thinking it was unlike any memoir I'd ever read。 Above all， it's a story of increasing dedication to the art of fiction， to an identity as a writer。 Everything else is subordinate to her work， and everything else except family and friendships is transitory， even the idea of home。 Many male artists have told a story like this， but Attenberg brings a womanist take to the "selfish artist" trope without relying on some cathartic event to create her identity。 Instead， she writes about the logistics of making time and space for her work， of dedication to selling her work， of understanding how she works。 The book hops around in time， but I found this pleasing along with the reflective bits toward the end where Attenberg tries to understand some of her less-than-happy behaviors。 Many thanks to NetGalley for an advance review copy。 。。。more
Rachel
，
I remember after reading “All Grown Up，” seeing Attenberg tweeting about how people kept saying the main character was unlikable。 And I was surprised， because it never occurred to me。 Andrea just seemed real—flawed， as we all are。 Why do people immediately resort to this criticism， and why is it typically only reserved for women？What I loved about this book is that Attenberg presents the full picture of herself， warts and all。 And if you’re a book underliner， as I am， get those pencils ready。 Ja I remember after reading “All Grown Up，” seeing Attenberg tweeting about how people kept saying the main character was unlikable。 And I was surprised， because it never occurred to me。 Andrea just seemed real—flawed， as we all are。 Why do people immediately resort to this criticism， and why is it typically only reserved for women？What I loved about this book is that Attenberg presents the full picture of herself， warts and all。 And if you’re a book underliner， as I am， get those pencils ready。 Jami is self-deprecating， but she does admit to being a great writer， and she’s right。 。。。more
Addison Rizer
，
God， this is good。 If you like books about writers and writing which is to say if you like books about creativity and purpose which is to say if you like books about love and life， read this。
Joshunda Sanders
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I love a good book about writing， and I don't know why。 Maybe because reading about writing feels like writing。 Reading is the great， favorite cousin of actually putting words down on paper， so maybe that's what it is。 Jami Attenberg's memoir of craft， the writing life， the itinerant， wandering restlessness that can be a major part of being a single woman writer， is like traveling the world with your favorite writing coach or mentor。 Readers learn here about Jami's backstory or origin story as t I love a good book about writing， and I don't know why。 Maybe because reading about writing feels like writing。 Reading is the great， favorite cousin of actually putting words down on paper， so maybe that's what it is。 Jami Attenberg's memoir of craft， the writing life， the itinerant， wandering restlessness that can be a major part of being a single woman writer， is like traveling the world with your favorite writing coach or mentor。 Readers learn here about Jami's backstory or origin story as the hero of the epic writing journey that never ends， and through her adventures， disappointments， triumphs and epiphanies， we can see ourselves， and what we most love about writing， most clearly。 A really gorgeous memoir。 。。。more
Megan Abbott
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I loved this。 Moving， intimate， bracing， funny， generous， complicated。 Like everything she writes， it strikes deep。
Morgan Schulman
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I was given an advanced readers' copy in exchange for an honest review。 Five easy stars。 I flew through the pages devouring her experiences。 While I love this author， I am not usually a fan of this genre， but she made it seem more like a story and less like a memoir。 We are lucky to be living and reading in the same times as Jami Attenberg。 I was given an advanced readers' copy in exchange for an honest review。 Five easy stars。 I flew through the pages devouring her experiences。 While I love this author， I am not usually a fan of this genre， but she made it seem more like a story and less like a memoir。 We are lucky to be living and reading in the same times as Jami Attenberg。 。。。more
Steve Essick
，
Job Well Done goes out to Jami Attenberg for her moving midlife memoir #ICameAllThisWayToMeetYou。 Primarily， the book chronicles Ms。 Attenberg’s life through her 20’s， 30’s and 40’s in her quest to become a well respected author。 We meet someone who is constantly on the move， both figuratively and literally， while she hones her talents。 Throughout， Attenberg is anchored by her many friendships and goes any distance， be it around the block or around the world to maintain these relationships。 Ulti Job Well Done goes out to Jami Attenberg for her moving midlife memoir #ICameAllThisWayToMeetYou。 Primarily， the book chronicles Ms。 Attenberg’s life through her 20’s， 30’s and 40’s in her quest to become a well respected author。 We meet someone who is constantly on the move， both figuratively and literally， while she hones her talents。 Throughout， Attenberg is anchored by her many friendships and goes any distance， be it around the block or around the world to maintain these relationships。 Ultimately， however， it is her writing itself which gives her solace while navigating her life’s ups and downs。 Told frankly with a journalistic narrative that never flags， #ICameAllThisWayToMeetYou is so honest that by its conclusion I felt like I was a friend with Ms。 Attenberg and wanted to share my 72 years with her。 Good work， Jami。 。。。more
Tom O’Leary
，
Seriously， this is one of the most entertaining and inspiring memoirs of the trials and tribulations and triumphs of the life of the modern writer that I have ever read。 And I wish amazing author Jami Attenberg was here to edit my overlong sentence of praise。 For anyone who has ever felt defeated and morose while trying to create something， read this book now！
Sue Fernandez
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I'd surprisingly never read anything by Jami Attenberg previously。 Reading her memoir sent me off in search of her fiction books。 This book reads like I think: In disjointed streams of consciousness。 I felt this was an open， honest， and heartfelt book of essays。 I believe if you were already a fan， this will give you insight to the author， and if you have just learned of Ms。 Attenberg， you will enjoy her fiction writing even more。 Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC！ I'd surprisingly never read anything by Jami Attenberg previously。 Reading her memoir sent me off in search of her fiction books。 This book reads like I think: In disjointed streams of consciousness。 I felt this was an open， honest， and heartfelt book of essays。 I believe if you were already a fan， this will give you insight to the author， and if you have just learned of Ms。 Attenberg， you will enjoy her fiction writing even more。 Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC！ 。。。more
Ruth
，